Teenagers are tribal by nature. Excluding an outsider from their social clique is standard operating procedure. Just think back to your own middle and high school experience. Did you ever walk into the lunchroom alone and feel uncomfortable because you didn’t spot anyone to sit with?
While gravitating toward known friends is natural, the regular attendees in your youth group may be so used to circling up in their comfortable cliques that they’re oblivious to the barriers they’re creating for others—especially newcomers. Visitors can leave feeling awkward, isolated, and unwelcome—and none of us want that.
Try This! ❯
Set aside a few minutes in your meeting this week to coach your students on how to help visitors to your youth group feel welcome and included.
Gospel Advancing youth groups should be different. Jesus modeled reaching out to the unpopular, the broken, the hurting—the outsiders. So how do you override teens’ natural inclinations to gather with like-minded students and leave visitors feeling uncomfortable?
Here are three keys to creating a youth group environment where visitors feel welcomed.
1. Pray together regularly for the lost.
Prayer changes things! It changes circumstances, hearts, and behaviors. When you lead from the front by making time in your youth group meetings to pray together for the lost, it invites God into your Gospel Advancing efforts. It also can shift your students’ mindset so that they begin to see their unreached friends, their schools, and even your youth group as a mission field. Regular prayer times for your group’s individual and corporate outreach efforts will foster awareness and begin to kindle your students’ hearts for the lost. Click here for specific ideas on how to program prayer into your youth group.
2. Provide “when you bring a friend” coaching.
Coach your students on how to be a great host when they invite a friend to youth group. When a guest comes out to youth group at their invitation (or someone else’s), it’s time to pull out all the stops to make sure that guest feels welcome. Here’s a quick how-to list you can walk your students through:
- Pray for your guest before, during, and after youth group—that they would be open to Jesus’s Gospel message and put their faith in Him.
- Stay with your guest throughout the meeting. Sit by them. Introduce them around—particularly to students who have similar interests, go to the same school, or are in the same grade.
- After the meeting, follow up and ask them what they thought of the talk. Did they learn anything new or different about Jesus? Did what the youth leader said make sense to them? Why or why not? Explain any “Christianese” or inside jokes they might not have understood.
- Offer an opportunity for them to put their trust in Jesus.
- Make it clear that if they aren’t ready to trust in Christ, they are still welcome at youth group. They can “belong” before they “believe.”
- Invite them back for the next youth group meeting. If they decline, invite them back for the next event your youth group plans.
3. Nurture a “there you are” vs. a “here I am” mindset.
Even if your students haven’t brought a friend to youth group on any given week, help them understand that they have a role to play when it comes to making visitors feel welcome. Sure, most teenagers are experts at being self-absorbed. They naturally arrive on the scene (any scene, not just youth group) with a “here I am” mindset. Yet Jesus calls us to a “there you are” mindset, as in, love one another (John 13:34-35), serve one another (Galatians 5:13-14), forgive one another (Ephesians 4:31-32). Here’s a short checklist you can teach students to help them develop a “there you are” mindset in your youth group.
- Watch for new people and take the initiative to go over and meet them. Pray for them during and after the meeting and ask God to draw them to faith in Jesus.
- Ask the visitor questions about themselves so you can get to know them and help them feel special and comfortable in this new setting. Offer to introduce them to some of your friends.
- Use Ask – Admire – Admit to start a Gospel conversation.
- Follow up with them outside of youth group. Add them as a social media friend. Hang out with them outside of youth group.
Creating a visitor-friendly youth group culture is at the core of building a Gospel Advancing ministry mindset. Everyone has a part to play! And as the coach, you’re in the best position to make sure youth group is a win for regulars and visitors alike.
